Sense and Sensitivity...

Sounds good, doesn’t it?? Sense and Sensitivity... An alliteration (one of my fave figures of speech) and at a safe distance from downright plagiarism… (for everyone who knows what I’m talking about.. and for those who don’t, welcome to the club!! I don’t know myself!!)

but I fooled you! This post isn’t about sense or sensitivity... (Snicker Snicker) :)

Still want to continue reading?? Fair enough!! I believe in second chances too... :)

This post is actually about Nothing… you think there can’t be a post on Nothing? Well I’m going to prove you wrong!!

Notice how I’m keeping the tone of this passage (man RC is getting to me!) strictly interactive?? In spite of the fact that there haven’t been any comments on the past two posts?? Now what does that tell you?? I’ll tell you what that tells you…

1. I am slow
2. I am dumb
3. I never learn
4. I’m going to continue blabbering
   

Any complaints? Disagreements?? Of course not! How can there be when nobody is reading this at all? Which brings us to a very interesting question… why am I writing this then?? I’ll tell you… I’m writing because I have nothing better to do… and when I’ve nothing better to do (which is most of the time) I write!! Notice how I’ve managed to be jobless myself and waste your time too!! Man I’m brilliant! Scratch the previous conclusions!!
Now... How much of your time did I ruin?

1-2 mins – you’re good at RC

2-5 mins – you’re not good at RC

5-7 mins – hang on… do you even care about these estimates!! Because I’m kidding and these are fake!!

Any guesses why I’m so foolish?? Yeah you got it! (I know you didn’t, but I can’t say ‘you dunce, why the *&^% can’t you get it?’ right?) So…. I took Steve Jobs too seriously when he said ‘Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish’ which reminds me, that I’m hungry!!

So I’ll stop here! Yes, finally!! So I’ve managed to talk about nothing!! *applause* :)

As always, I love it when I don’t make sense!! :)

About Time...

Sometimes, a really weird thing happens to me. When I get up in the morning, I suddenly go back in time. I might feel it is 2003 and I need to work for NASA, or it is 1999 and I need to go to school, or it’s 2005 and I need to get ready for office. Sometimes I start searching for a ring on the bed, that I distinctly remember having worn before I went to sleep, only to discover that I gave it to Dido a fortnight back. It’s spooky, if not scary. Not being in tune with time can make you feel very helpless.

Such a crazy thing, Time. So Powerful, so Overwhelming. It can heal the deepest wounds, or leave the deepest scar. It makes allowances for everything… your sweetest memory, your greatest fear, your best achievement; your worst failure… everything else can stand still, except time. In fact, time can often be cruel simply by moving on.

The truth remains,though… that time is the toughest test and the greatest proof, of Life and of Love… a test all of us need to take, sooner or later, and then wait... for Time’s verdict. And of course, hope for Justice… :)

Communication...

‘Everything comes to the one who waits, provided he knows what he’s waiting for…’ I don’t know who wrote this; Roy Sir quoted it… It seems to make sense, doesn’t it? I wonder if it would work, though, if you know, deep inside, what you want, but you don’t want to acknowledge that... or simply haven’t realized that. It should stand true na... because isn’t it also said that you never learn something, but realize what you already knew? That is what Richard Bach says anyway, and I’d like to think that’s true… :)

Sometimes you feel you know what you want… But then you look at the person who has that, and realize you wouldn’t want to be in his (her, in my case) shoes!! Then you start soul searching again…

What helps though, is good old communication... talking to people you can relate to... the ones who make you think, the ones you connect with, the ones who give you the ‘release’ you look for!!

There’s a Power in Communication, I believe, that is most definitely Unique… :)

A Matter of Faith...

Just when I’m about to abandon my ideals or get disillusioned, something happens and I get back on track… this time it was our result.

It came out yesterday. I was expecting to be way behind my class mates, percentage wise. Reason being the marks are not allotted fairly, prejudices come in, and in the past, I’ve often been on the receiving end of such injustice. The final year largely consists of internal marks, which are awarded on a biased basis. So I was half expecting to just about scrape through, which was fine with me since scoring well was never my priority (never been ambitious na :)

But to calculate your percentage, they take your 4^th year and 5^th year marks together. In doing so, my performance at the universities got included, which has always been good since the college doesn’t play a part in it, and my average, though not exceptional, was good enough.

Had the marks been awarded reasonably (not expecting to be treated specially, only fairly) my average would have been even better. But I have no complaints, since I don’t need a lot to be satisfied. (A trait that Raoul would consider criminal! :)

What I want to say is, I stuck to what I felt was right all through the five years, irrespective of the consequences. No obsequiousness, no dishonesty, no sweet talk, nothing. Everybody said you need to be a sycophant to survive in a professional college. I wasn’t one. And I survived well enough, got through too. It might be a small victory. But I’m very proud of it.

So I’ll go on doing what I feel is right. One might call me silly but that’s ok. There’s a great Power in Truth, as in Love and Faith. And I believe it works wonders. Somewhat akin to 'Gandhigiri' in ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’. The movie has such an Amazing message.

We are not living in the greatest of times, and choices are getting tougher by the day. But the fact that the basic good values still exist goes to show the sheer strength of these ideals. And they will sustain us as long as we believe in them. Hopefully, forever... :)

Somewhere Only We Know...

This one's another song by Keane.. 'Somewhere Only We Know'... Just the title of the song gives me goosebumps... the song's so simple.. yet so profound!!Tom's voice and Tim's lyrics always create magic... I've never liked falsetto much but coming from Tom's vocal chords, i love even that... :) It really is amazing, the way they come up with simple words that express so much... no pretensions... just the truth, pure and simple, straight from the heart... It's a lovely feeling when all that you want to say but cannot express is beautifully sung by someone (and it doesn't hurt that the 'someone' singing is really cute... Tom Chaplin in this case... he's a Gombu! :)
their debut album 'Hopes and Fears' was Incredible... and the recent one 'Under the Iron Sea' is equally great... it's like Clive Wearing said.. 'The most important things cannot be spoken; that's why there's music...'
When you listen to their songs, it makes you feel like you aren't the only one searching for that elusive, ideal world where it's okay to be simple... okay to not play games... okay to be all that you are... their songs give me hope... :)
Perhaps the world i'm looking for does not exist.. but even the hope of finding it is enough, really.. And then even this Ordinary World isn't all that bad.. because when you actually think about it, Life is pretty Beautiful.. :)

The Hardest Part...

What do you do when one day you realize that you had been looking at Life upside down? What do you do when you realize that you have been walking for so long only to find a dead end? What do you do when everything that you believed in turns out to be an illusion??
As i reach the far end of Hope, Despair doesn't seem like a bad place to be... There's a comfort in Sorrow that happiness doesn't give... there's a Refuge in Cowardice that Courage doesn't yield... is it really that bad to seek that comfort, that refuge?
Does time really heal every wound? Or does it become a wound itself? Sometimes nothing makes sense.. terms like 'right' and 'wrong' begin to sound unreal and are reduced to just being words...
Till you make a Choice.. and that is the Hardest Part.

Drifting...

Examz are finally done with... Five years of Architecture ends.. just like that... All of us are yet to come to terms with being 'graduates'. I personally don't want to. Too much responsibility... just when i was getting to be so comfortable being an escapist. On top of it the Huge stigma of being 'aimless'. Don't blame anybody for calling me that though. It's not their fault i'm born in the wrong time. Maybe I should have lived say 100 years back, you know married at age of 10, a mother of 6 at the age of 22, widowed by the age of 35 (considering my hubby would either be 20 years older or the victim of some obsure disease... :) Simple haan? No…I guess it wouldn’t be simple even then…. but its fun to visualize nonetheless…. :)

'Aim', 'Success', 'Failure'.... Big words... still meaning different things to different people.. Why should someone else decide if you're successful? Or if you're a failure? Isn't that for you to decide? Where your success lies.. where your peace of mind lies..Of course there are conventional yardsticks to measure you... but does that count really? Perhaps it does.. but in the 'bigger picture'? Who's to judge? As for me, irrespective of what i end up doing, i'll judge myself...and while i'm at that, be biased big time... :)

Love Factually..?

I didnt quite expect such an amazing response for the previous blog.. needless to say, i'm flattered... thanks to everybody who commented... :) the other day i heard about another successful love story... it was so sweet.. there are these issues, but they are going to be resolved, and everything shall fall into place.. i love happy endings..!! its a contradiction, then, that my favourite love stories are always tragic.. (Kisna, Qayamat se Qayamat tak etc.) Looking at love ideally (which is what i always do, more or less), theres something so divine about it, such an untouched purity, that it makes love seem as something best left unattainable.. any practical or attainable side to it then makes an anti climax of sorts.. is that really another way you can look at it?? or am i simply suffering through what i call a severe case of 'sour grapesitis'? ;)
forgive the bad joke! :)
sometimes i wonder, what is so powerful about this emotion, that holds people together? what is this power that doesn't let people like me get bitter or give up? i can only call it Magic.. infact i'd like to think its Magic.. another one of those inexplicable things those are best left inexplicable...its an amazing power, the power to love.. and anybody who has ever fallen in love is lucky and special.. and i'm a wee bit crazy.. :)

Everybody's Changing

There’s a song by Keane called ‘Everybody’s Changing’. The way I’ve been pleading people to listen to it, you’d think I was getting paid for it. Kya karen I can’t help it. It’s one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. When I listen to it, I feel as if I had been waiting for it. The chorus goes like this….

So little time
Try to understand that I
Try to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

I love this part.. Isn’t that what all of us do? Try to make moves just to ‘stay in the game’? And look on helplessly as people change? So much of our time is spent playing games, putting up facades, when it’s so much easier to just be ‘ourselves’? Where do these inhibitions come from anyways? I wish they’d all go back to wherever they’ve come from. Life’s so short to be something you’re not; you hardly have time to be what you are…. If you figure out what you are that is… I believe I’m straying from the topic… well why not? I love it when I don’t make sense… :)

Love as I know it...

Of all the emotions, the one that intrigues me most of all is Love. In fact love is so much more than an emotion. Its a way of life. Almost like a religion, that all of us follow, whether we realize that or not. I've always felt we underestimate the power of Love, big time. Nothing, i feel, is better or sweeter, than two people loving each other. People spend their lives searching for the 'perfect' person. I don't believe in 'perfection' as an idea, though. 'perfect' is such a relative term. What is perfect for me can be weird for someone else. (Believe me, chances are it'll most certainly be weird for almost everybody, except me. ;) But how does it matter? What matters is you love. And keep Loving. And dream. And keep dreaming.

Of course its not always smooth sailing. You might get hurt, you might break your heart, you might screw up! But I'd say its worth taking the chance. Again, and again, and yet again.

May all of us be blessed with the fervour to Love.

Ok Enough mush for the day there. I must leave right now and read about crime and gore or i might throw up.... :)

Chasing Illusions...

When i look around, most people i come across know what they are doing. They have 'aims', 'goals', 'ambitions'... they are focussed, they have plans. I really respect these people, because i, myself, have no idea where i am headed. In today's world, that is enough to qualify as a crime. In a world where everybody is looking for what they want, i want something i can look for... A Purpose perhaps, a Calling if you will. It eludes me and i wait in vain. So while others make the best of reality, i usually end up chasing illusions.... :)