I’ve always believed in the Power of Love, Faith, Communication et al. And then I’ve also disapproved of cynicism, lack of faith or specifically, Disillusionment.
Now I think differently. Not about the believing part, but the ‘losing faith’ part.
I believe, when a relationship ends, it’s pretty alright, healthy, in fact, for a person to have what I call a Mourning Period. You mourn because you’ve cherished and Respected the relationship, and hence when you mourn it, you do justice to the magnitude of emotions you’ve felt. Fair enough. Love is worth every tear you shed, after all.
Some people get over the past, some get ahead. Some find the strength or the chance to love again and then there are some who don’t. Who lose their faith. It’s sad really, to see someone give up hope like that. You’d think they aren’t strong enough.
But then I feel this lack of faith after a relationship can be explained. Look at it this way... when people are left Disillusioned after the end of a relationship, does it not mean that they had put so much faith, so much of themselves into the relationship, that with its end, they simply lost themselves... zapped out of everything? Does it not mean that they Respected that relationship so much, that it actually had the Power to render them faithless? Because something can only affect you when it has a Power over you, right? So, for that particular person, doesn’t Losing Faith actually signify a deep, irreplaceable reverence in the Power of Love? I think so.
I am not seeking to justify Disillusionment here. Nor do I think I can ever get disillusioned myself. I’m only forwarding a theory, which may or may not be true. (*disclaimer* if you will :) Personally, I maintain, it’s infinitely better to keep the Faith... the Hope... that itself makes Everything fall into Place... Eventually... :)
Granted, it’s said that ‘who has no hopes, has no fears’. And perhaps Faithlessness does manifest itself as Fearlessness. But then, given a choice, wouldn’t we rather be Hopeful than Fearless!! :)
11 comments:
Interesting theory..
To add to that, I also believe that one loses a part of oneself after every failed relationship. As you rightly said, one puts in so much of oneself into it, that one subconsciously starts putting in lesser and lesser in subsequent relationships..
In the end all that is left of oneself finally is another person
Thanks Arun... :)
well.. your theory is interesting too... "....all that is left of oneself finally is another person"
never thought of it that way.. let me chew on this a bit!
Well, I like your last paragraph the most. it has depth, and truth!
And I completely agree to Arun. You do loose some beauty from life after every failed relationship. But yes, that loss is not irreplaceable.
Well said, Adi!
Hmm... Ullu, I agree it is a healthy reaction, but not in the way implied here.
it's a natural reaction to "reconsider" some beliefs when a major incident happens in one's life.. like when a relationship ends. Unless one feels bad about it, one may not learn from past mistakes (if any)..
but then, faith is when we can believe in something, inspite of what we see. it's good to get it back sooner than later. i liked these words,
"Personally, I maintain, it’s infinitely better to keep the Faith... the Hope... that itself makes Everything fall into Place... Eventually... :)"
Er...sorry to interrupt, Pharao!
But I beg to differ from "Unless one feels bad about it, one may not learn from past mistakes"...
Well, this opinion does give solace to those who have felt bad after a relationship ended. True, "feeling bad" in no bad always. But you need not feel bad always after committing a mistake. At times mistakes are boons in disguise. You could feel happy, you commit them early to learn from them; and stop the repurcussions from escalating further. Afterall, each piece of time is followed by the future, brodening our exposure, and vulnerability to thw world.
Quoting Prahsant,
"You could feel happy, you commit them early to learn from them..."
:)
If we are happy about them all the time, why would we want to learn from them ever? If we step into the details we might unravel the not-so-secret order of life to be:
oops -> ouch -> oh yeah -> ooooh!
(make mistake -> feel bad -> learn,buddy -> feel happy)
cheerios!
:)
Hey Pharaoh,
Its fun learning things from happy moments as well. In fact the modern pedagogy also believes in facilitating learning through some really happy, gay moments and experiences.
However, we cannot belie the fact that we do learn good things from unhappy moments as well.
Quite an interesting argument here.. But then that's expected when Prashant and Harshad get talking... :)
(btw thanks to both of you for the compliments :)
I personally feel, keeping the happiness and the sorrow aside, even wanting to learn from a mistake is optional; it's a personal choice.
(I, for one, have never learnt anything and remain blissfully dumb!! :)
What pays, though, is not losing faith (as Harshad said).. i'd like to repeat what i've mentioned somewhere before in this very blog... Our faith will sustain us as long as we believe.. :)
:)
Pharaoh,
You name no more remains a secret.
Well, when do you open another debate?
:)
Pharaoh,
You name no more remains a secret.
Well Aditi, when do you open another debate?
Hopefully, very soon, Prashant!! :)
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