Monday, June 02, 2008

The Hope from a Soap

Log in to Orkut and search ‘Ekta Kapoor’ in communities. The number of Hate Clubs you’ll find will leave you gaping. It’s amazing how almost everyone seems to find her serials disgusting. Ironically, they are the top grossers of Indian Television. Perhaps I wouldn’t tune into one of the K serials intentionally; but that’s because I’m simply too lazy. Too lazy to follow a soap, too lazy to hate someone who doesn’t even know me, and much too lazy to join a Hate Club (In fact there are a lot of Fan Clubs I haven’t been able to join due to sheer laziness!!)

I personally have nothing against her anyway. In fact, I admire her for coming up with something so novel and so profitable that she’s playing in millions and generating huge employment for the country. Not to mention she’s turning many a dreams into reality. Post Ekta Kapoor, not everyone has to be a movie star to have their share of glamour or their 15 minutes of fame. They can have the same through Television, something that’s much easier and quicker to get into. Ekta Kapoor has turned a dream into a career choice, and I respect her for that.

There’s another reason I hold no grudges against K-serials. They are amazingly informative and incredibly entertaining.

Once in a month, I watch either ‘Kyunki’ or ‘Kasturi’. It’s wonderful, how the story (or the lack of it) crawls around exactly where I left it. The only changes would be that suddenly, overnight, one of the ‘good characters’
(good=salwar kameez/ saari clad docile woman with ankle length hair, clinking bangles, patronizing smile, fluttering eyelashes and overflowing tears)

Would turn ‘bad’
By ‘bad’ they mean someone who talks to himself/ herself loud enough for us to hear, the monologue being accompanied by appropriate facial expressions which are unnaturally and conveniently not noticed by anyone (what are the chances!!)

The ‘bad’ person would be spiteful just for the heck of it, deviantly greedy, and forever possessing unbelievable schadenfreude.

Women wear designer sarees and footwear at home (and still need to 'change' when stepping out). Mothers cook in the kitchen with one hand clutching the mobile phone (inevitably the latest Nokia model). The men wear blazers at dinner (talk about dressing for dinner!). The kids are always flawlessly dressed (where's the childhood gone anyway?). Plus there are people who 'warn' the protagonist and call meetings at God forsaken places, where they greet their cherished visitors in long black hoods and gloves and capes (in Bombay's sweltering heat!) and drum their fingers against whatever platform they can find (huh??). Heroines pledge to avenge the murder of their husbands (by marrying the killer!!!) and the best part? Everything happens thrice!!

As a patron of The Unintentional Comedy, I am greatly entertained by the K-soap, which delivers it at my home for free. Otherwise I’d have had to wait another lifetime for something like ‘Jaani Dushman’ or ‘Prem Aggan’ to tickle my funny bone.

I agree that watching the episode for longer than 15 minutes gives me a headache; but it’s worth the fun if watched with care at long enough intervals.

One of the aforementioned communities have rightly pointed out that K-soap is very close to Science Fiction; what with spectacular plastic surgery and fast forwarding time, and people living over 200 years. I couldn’t agree more! See how informative the soaps are?? Which other soaps venture into SciFi, pray tell??

Another hilarious aspect is the scale on which they earn and measure money.

For instance, let me document a monologue of a devious mind here…

*thinking alound and wincing*

“एक बार मेरे बेहेन के देवर के ससुर के मामा के पितः के चाचा के मौसेरे भाई की मौत हो जाये, तो उनकि 450 करोड़ की जायदाद का अकेला वारीस उनका बेटा होगा, और उसे अपने प्यार के जाल में फसाकर मैं ये सारी जायदाद की मल्कीं बन जाऊंगी… हहाहहाहा
(akin to Phoebe’s ‘Plan Laughter’)”

450 crore!! Can you beat it!! :)

Well as long as such entertainment is so readily available, I’m not complaining. After all I am a big sucker for melodrama, often indulging in it myself.

Why let Indian Television stay devoid of it!?

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